All About Bipolar

Posted By atorturedsoul on November 5, 2009

Uncle Sam wants you!

The Department of Homeland Security has been visiting my blog. I feel important!

Before you get the wrong idea, I am not suffering from paranoid delusions. This isn’t an episode caused by bipolar disorder, I promise. I am dead serious. Someone in Washington is reading my website. Ummm, wow. The government knows I am alive. I guess this means I should start paying taxes, huh? (Kidding, I’m only kidding. I pay my taxes, Uncle Sam.)

The visits came from the U.S. Customs and Border Protection division of the DHS. Perhaps they think I am an illegal alien or I am smuggling in undeclared fruit. I’m being humorous. I have written about serious things for a while now and I needed to break out of it for a day.

If I had to guess, there is someone at the Department of Homeland Security in the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol that is seeking information on bipolar disorder, BUT it could be related to my article on H1N1 flu about a month ago.

Why do I say this? I was perusing the internet last night and ran across this:

Homeland Security Could Block Websites During Swine Flu Pandemic

I knew I should have stuck to writing only about bipolar disorder. (Joking here.) I strongly suggest that you go and read the entire article for yourself, but here are a few items of interest in the article:

The government is being encouraged to prepare to block websites and Internet traffic in the event of a worsening swine flu pandemic that results in network congestion, a move that represents a potential end run around the agenda to regulate the world wide web.

They are kidding, right? Am I in bizarro world? The government may block websites because of the flu? Give me one good reason.

A report by the General Accountability Office warns that a severe pandemic, or a worsening of the H1N1 outbreak, could result in 40 percent absentee rates at work and school, meaning that the Internet would be overloaded with people working from home as well as bored children sucking up bandwidth via online gaming.

Securities exchanges already have back-up systems to cope with such a scenario but the same cannot be said for general commerce, warns the report, adding that the federal government, specifically Homeland Security, should be given the power to block certain websites and regulate Internet traffic.

I said a good reason. This sounds like paranoid delusions to me. They think the internet, the entire internet, is going to “crash” because people stay home because of the flu. I don’t know about you, but when I have the flu I don’t feel like being on the internet. I am betting a lot of people are the same way.

“Private Internet providers might need government authorization to block popular websites, the report states, or to reduce residential transmission speeds to make way for commerce,” according to a Reuters article.

Alright, Uncle Sam. I am not that popular and my residential transmission speed is already slow enough so don’t mess with it, okay?

The Department of Homeland Security’s Jerald Levine hinted that the feds would be eager to regulate the web and block websites in the event of a pandemic, stating, “An expectation of unlimited Internet access during a pandemic is not realistic.”

The Department of Homeland Security says I can’t have unlimited internet access because of the flu? Can I get a flu credit then for the percentage of unlimited internet I will be paying for and not receiving if this happens? Besides, who gave the government this much power over the internet? Well, ummm….

The Cybersecurity Act of 2009, introduced by Senators John Rockefeller (D-W. Va.) and Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) in April, gives the president the ability to “declare a cybersecurity emergency” and shut down or limit Internet traffic in any “critical” information network “in the interest of national security.” The bill does not define a critical information network or a cybersecurity emergency.

Thanks so much, Senators Rockefeller and Snowe. I want to know who will be picking up the tab if my unlimited internet access is limited. Who will pay my hosting bill if my site becomes blocked? I suppose I could send the bill to the Rockefellers.

During a hearing on the bill, Senator John Rockefeller betrayed the true intent behind the legislation when he stated, “Would it have been better if we’d have never invented the Internet,” while fearmongering about cyber attacks on the U.S. government and how the country could be shut down.

Wait a minute. Rockefeller is worried about cyber attacks on the U.S.? Who’s having paranoid delusions? And by the way, we all know Al Gore invented the internet. (Snicker, snicker.)

The whole thing is absurd if you ask me, but since so many government agencies visit this site, I will make a plea. If the whole country gets the flu, please don’t shut down my site by blocking it from being accessed. I’m just giving information on bipolar disorder and I pose no threat to national security and my traffic won’t have any substantial affect on bandwidth.

All this hype over the Swine Flu. Ugh.

Just so you know this isn’t paranoia caused by bipolar disorder and I am really being visited by the CBP and DHS, here is the info from my logs:

bcp4.cbp.dhs.gov

25 (page views)

02 Nov 2009 – 11:33

bcp1.cbp.dhs.gov

15 (page views)

02 Nov 2009 – 10:33

Oh, and I will add in the one from the National Coastal Conditions Report at the Environmental Protection Agency:

rouble.nccr.epa.gov

15 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 08:01

Why leave out the military? These are from the Quantico Marine Corps Base in Virginia.

gate23-quantico.nmci.usmc.mil

4 (page views)

05 Nov 2009 – 00:13

gate24-quantico.nmci.usmc.mil

3 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 01:23

gate25-quantico.nmci.usmc.mil

5 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 20:27

gate22-quantico.nmci.usmc.mil

5 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 22:17

These are from Norfolk, Virginia. It is the Navy/Marine Corps Intranet (NMCI).

gate5-norfolk.nmci.navy.mil

4 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 13:23

gate3-norfolk.nmci.navy.mil

2 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 13:23

gate1-norfolk.nmci.navy.mil

2 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 13:23

gate6-norfolk.nmci.navy.mil

2 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 13:23

gate4-norfolk.nmci.navy.mil

2 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 13:23

This one is from the Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming:

bluecoat-external.warren.af.mil

2 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 11:26

This one is from the Yokota Air Base in Japan:

yokota-pxyw1.afnoc.af.mil

2 (page views)

01 Nov 2009 – 23:15

This is from the Dwight D. Eisenhower Army Medical Center in Augusta, Georgia:

pxy72-196.ddeamc.amedd.army.mil

1 (page views)

04 Nov 2009 – 14:56

What do I make of it? There are a lot of people in the Customs and Border Patrol, Department of Homeland Security, Navy, Army, Marines, National Coastal Conditions and Environmental Protection Agency with bipolar disorder or seeking information on bipolar disorder. Maybe I am just that well-known. Naaaah. They all want to know more about bipolar disorder.

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Categories: About Bipolar Disorder, Humor, My Personal Experiences
Tags: about, all, bipolar, delusions, disorder, government, paranoid, regulation of internet