All About Bipolar

Posted By atorturedsoul on October 13, 2009

It has been the beginning of yet another long week, but I am hanging in here and trying to stay motivated.

My mother called me yesterday at a little past 8 A.M. My mother worked the night before and didn’t get off until 7 A.M.. She had called my stepfather before he went to work and he told her that he had not slept at all. She tried to get him to stay home but he refused. She called me right before his first break and wanted me to ask my husband how he was doing. My stepfather had been complaining of pain in his left shoulder, which actually turned out to be about 4 inches from his left shoulder-in his chest. He took a nitroglycerine pill for the very first time since his heart attack. We were worried so we called his supervisor and told them to have him ready to go. I rode with my mother to pick him up and drove his truck back home.

My stepfather has to take quite a few blood thinners since he had his heart attack on August 30^th. Because of this, his blood pressure has been around 112/70 consistently. When we got him home and checked it, it was 133/70 and he was cold and his fingers were purple. We took him to our local emergency room, where they did several EKG’s and blood work. It all came back fine but his cardiologist insisted that he come in for more testing to be sure. He had to ride in the ambulance to a bigger hospital. (Let me tell you, he was not happy at all.) While waiting at the local ER, the woman in the trauma room with us died. I was shaken by this because I heard the woman’s last few breaths and her last (useless) attempts to communicate with her nephew. Very sad.

We followed the ambulance to the next county and he had another EKG and more blood work. Everything came back okay but the doctor wanted him to stay overnight for observation. So, after being at the hospital from around 10 A.M. to 7 P.M., they moved him into a room. By this time, my mother had been awake for around 36 hours, after sleeping only 4 hours in the 24 hours before that.  I called my husband to come get me and I ended up leaving a bit past 8 P.M. I had not eaten all day so I had to stop and get something on the way back home, but once I got it I couldn’t eat much.

I am waiting to hear what the doctor has to say. (He hasn’t been in this morning.) They made him NPO (fasting) after midnight and have not let him eat this morning-just in case the doctor wants to run testing. I would be at the hospital, but the kids are out of school this week and they were by themselves all day yesterday. (My oldest is just 14 and I don’t like to leave them unless it’s a dire emergency.) IF they decide to do something else, I will be heading out again so I am playing the waiting game right now.

The good news is, he seems to be doing okay and everything has come back fine so far. We’re not sure what is causing his pain but he says it comes and goes, but the nitroglycerine seemed to help it.

As far as my mental health, you all know that I have been having differing episodes and bipolar disorder is getting the best of me at times. I am trying to stay calm but I am back and forth between depressive episodes and manic episodes. Manic episodes aren’t good, because right now they only involve anger.

Well, the phone just rang. An orderly came into the room and said he was there to prep my stepfather. My mom asked them, “For what?” A heart cath. Oh hell no. A nurse has not been in to tell them anything and the doctor certainly hasn’t spoken to them. We are not going to let them put him through the stress of this test unless they can give us a damned good reason. Everything has come back perfectly normal. Why do they need to do one? They are not doing one unless they can give us a good reason.

I will probably be leaving soon to go raise hell at the hospital. My mom is raising hell with the nurse at this very moment.

Hopefully, I will be back tomorrow to give an update. Send me well wishes-or bail money.

***Update: Nurse came in. Nurse got smart with mom. Mom went off on nurse and informed her that she was a nurse too and she knew protocol. Nurse shut up. Nurse put in a call to the doctor. Doctor is supposed to be coming up to consult with mom. Amy is angry and hubby said he will come home and drive me.

Listen….do you hear that? That is me screaming out of anger and frustration.

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Categories: My Personal Experiences
Tags: about, all, anger, bipolar, depressive, episodes, frustration, mania