All About Bipolar

Posted By atorturedsoul on September 22, 2009

Dealing with bipolar disorder is difficult at times. Add in a spouse, family member, or friend who doesn’t understand and it can be much worse.

I think a lot of people have this problem. When a spouse doesn’t understand the impact bipolar disorder has on your life, it causes a division in the marriage. One spouse is resentful that the other can’t understand what they are going through and the other may feel as if this wasn’t what they signed up for.

There are times when I become angry because my husband can’t recognize that my behavior is caused by the disorder and isn’t necessarily triggered by anything. It also angers me when I am having a tough time and he tells me that it isn’t part of bipolar disorder. How would you know? That’s what I want to scream. I have a hard time explaining (and he has a hard time understanding) that an outburst directed at him doesn’t have anything to do with him and it doesn’t mean I am angry at him.

How do you handle this? I have ordered tons of brochures and booklets and my therapist sent home hundreds of pages of information about bipolar disorder. If you can get your spouse to read about bipolar disorder, it may help. I wasn’t able to get mine to read any of it. My therapist once recommended that I bring him in for a session. I didn’t ask because I really didn’t want to hear what he had to say because I feared it would make me feel worse than I did already.

The majority of issues between spouses arises from a lack of understanding-on both parts. I realize that I cannot fully understand what he is going through and he can’t fully understand what I am going through, either. Accepting that is a big start, but where do you go from there? I think open and honest conversation is important, but there are times when a spouse’s honesty can be too much. For example, someone in the middle of a depressive episode doesn’t need to hear how their struggles negatively impacts another person’s life.

Learning to live with bipolar disorder and learning to live with a spouse with bipolar disorder are similar processes. We all go through stages-denial and anger tend to be the two biggest hurdles but both spouses experience it before reaching acceptance. I have learned to accept my illness and I am still waiting for my spouse to accept it. It’s difficult and it isn’t always worth it. I have decided that it is worth it for me and I hope that my husband doesn’t give up.

Some of you are probably reading this because you have a spouse who has bipolar disorder. If that is the case, I implore you to be patient. Coping with a mental illness and enduring the ups and downs of marriage is extremely difficult, but it can be done.

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Categories: About Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar 1, Bipolar 2, Cyclothymia, My Personal Experiences, NOS
Tags: about, accepting, all, bipolar, coping, dealing, disorder, health, husband, illness, mental, spouse, wife