All About Bipolar

Posted By atorturedsoul on June 5, 2009

Shadows in my room

My last round of psychosis was somewhat amusing and less bothersome. This round is starting off on a bad note. It kept me awake most of last night and now I am exhausted with tons of things to do today.

I had just finished watching a comedy and turned off the television to go to sleep. I started seeing shadows whirling around the room and moving across the walls. I saw a white orb bouncing across the bed and I could hear a mumbling. I freaked out and turned the light on. Nothing. I turned the light out and laid down again.

A shadowy figure moved across the room and the mumbling got louder. I could see things running across the comforter. I turned over on my side and pulled the covers over my head. Just a few minutes later, I felt something push me on my back with a force that left me breathless. Again, I looked around and saw nothing. I turned over again and two more times I felt like I was being pushed. By this time I was terrified. I turned the light on and left it on for a while before deciding to lie down again. I snuggled close to my husband and pulled the covers over my head again.

The mumbling turned to a loud roar and I heard banging noises. I gathered up the nerve to get up and go look through

Scared

the house. Nothing. I went back to bed and everything started up at once-the shadows, things on the bed, the roaring, the banging. I moved closer to my husband and pulled the covers over my head. The roaring and banging got so loud that I was too scared to move. The fear was so great that I began to cry. I thought about taking a Xanax to knock myself out but I was honestly afraid that I would forget that I had taken one and end up taking too much.

This continued until about 4 AM. I didn’t realize that it was all in my head until it stopped happening. It was almost like “snapping out of it”. I told my husband about it this morning and he is once again confiscating my medicine and giving it to me himself.

I really hope it was just a one time thing because I have been doing so well, but I have never had it happen only once in the past so I am not counting on it. I’m so tired. I need to move around before I pass out.

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Categories: About Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar 1, My Personal Experiences, Psychosis, Symptoms
Tags: about, all, bipolar, hallucinating, Psychosis, shadows